Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
