This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She bit a glass in half.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Please don't give away my fajitas
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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