You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
