Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
