I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
