i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
