I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
