When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
