I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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