I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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