cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
