Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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