where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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