I hope mine doesn't look like that
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
