Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
