My friends, they love my intelligence
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
