I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
