Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
