Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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