i just wanna soil my oats bro
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
