I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
