mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
