I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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