the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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