Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
