i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
