He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
