the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
