he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You took a bar mat shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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