No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
