So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
