i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It was confusing and full of hummus
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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