the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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