My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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