I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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