"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
accomplished twins. life is a go
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
