i think my mom watched the whole time
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
