Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
