just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
