He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
