Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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