Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
