Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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