I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
