When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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