What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
