The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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