First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
