Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
