everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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