She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
