Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize