he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
