ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
