She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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