it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
