we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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