my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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