yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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