Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
