Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
