Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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