either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
