we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
